Turning Fifty

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I turned fifty yesterday! Many relatives, friends and acquaintances congratulated me and wished me many more years ahead. I too, had been waiting to turn fifty and now I finally am! I had written about this last year. It was like reaching an important milestone. I couldn't wait!

However, since the past couple days, as the date drew near, I had been feeling a strange sense of distance from the whole idea of 'I'm fifty!’ Don't get me wrong… I'm still excited about turning fifty. But it also brought home the fact that I have been around for five decades! Total fun trivia: that's 600 months or 2600 weeks or 18263 days of existence! It felt a bit overwhelming. I also felt old… not old as in ancient or outdated or worn out or weatherbeaten. I felt old as in wise and experienced and aware and considerate. Even vintage, like wine that gets better with age.

We celebrate these milestone birthdays of 18, 21, 30 and so on, each marking a significant point of transition from one phase of life to the next. They are always a time for reflection and introspection. This is not to say that things change overnight. Turning 18 doesn't make one suddenly responsible. Turning 40 doesn't mean one is settled in life. It is a gradual process which unfolds differently for every individual. 


And so it has been the case with me the past few weeks. Turning fifty had me thinking about my life so far, memories from my childhood, the awkwardness of early adulthood, my numerous lived experiences and now how MS has pervaded my life and changed its direction, dramatically at times. I also realised how we only celebrate the length of life, often forgetting it has a depth, too. The length actually takes care of itself, sometimes with a little help from us to lengthen it further. Our quality of life, how we have conducted ourselves, how we have treated fellow humans is what makes the depth of life, is what finally matters.


I know for certain that I have already lived the larger part of my life. As I turn fifty, it is now time to also add in the depth. In youth, one wants it all — to achieve professional goals, possess material gain, have fulfilling relationships, do everything that gives a ‘high,’ gives a dopamine shot. There is always FOMO (fear of missing out). But as age progresses, JOMO (joy of missing out) starts prevailing. Now begins the time to really live life like it should be. Discard the unnecessary. Enjoy the wonder that is nature. Cherish the people in one's life. Nurture relationships and leave behind negativity. What is left, going forward, ought to be a real celebration of life. A life filled with love, kindness and grace. A life well lived so that when it is time to go, one leaves in peace.

Comments

  1. Chandana Shashikumar7 July 2024 at 15:30

    I'm turning 50. Although age is just a number, there is the urge to slow down, look within, pat my back often. This writing echoes many people's thoughts like mine

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leena8 July 2024 at 10:56

    Happy Birthday once again Divya! Wishing you many more healthy and happy years. It's time to add depth as you said. Find joy in the little things, the real things not the superficial.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ratna11 July 2024 at 10:33

    Fifty! I don't understand the hullabaloo coz I still "feel" 15, only sometimes, my body adamantly refuses to cooperate. Your words totally resonate with me, Divs, and how we retrospect is key to learning from every milestone! Love your writing.

    ReplyDelete

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