Inspiration and other Musings

2020 - The Year of The Fall

While we will remember 2020 as a life-altering year, the likes of which we never want to experience again, I will remember it for one more reason, the likes of which I never want to experience again. I call it the Year of the Fall because it was just that. I had a series of falls, six times in five months, all at home, all unexpected and unexplained. Okay, not really unexplained, because loss of balance is a big thing with MS. I need to be extra careful at all times. Earlier, my falls would be about one or two a year. They would just happen, without warning and I'd just get back to my routine after the necessary rest. None of them requiring serious medical care, but al leaving me a little dazed at the suddeness of the fall. Barring a few, most have been at home. So, there's the silver lining, rightt there! But last year’s frequent falls have made me very, very cautious. I actually started fearing falling while earlier I would just be caught off guard, now it had become a thing I had to be very mindful of. I now take my time to move, pausing for long periods, if I have to. For most, it is like watching a slow motion track in slow motion!! So any activity that would take you about five minutes to complete, would take me about 15 to 20 minutes to finish. Anything for which you would have to keep aside about 30 minutes? Ohh.. I'll pass, thank you.

It is strange how life unfolds. I have realised that no matter how perfectly we have planned for it, it has the power to throw us off balance and present itself in a manner which can fundamentally change our perception about life. In such a scenario, the best way is to accept the new life and embrace it. Only then can we move ahead. Accepting it allows us to change ourselves for the better and even change the existing scenario to make it more favourable. Denial does not allow us to think beyond the situation we are in and we continue to wallow in misery.

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“I can do it and I will do it!!”

It was the summer of 2013. I had enrolled my daughter into swimming classes. It was a two-week learning and much as she loved getting into the water, the thought of swimming without floats was a daunting one for her. We would go to the pool and she would have a whale of a time swimming with the float on. Then she decided that she had to swim on her own, without any assistance of any kind. I was at one end and she, at the other, along the breadth of the pool, a distance of probably 30 feet. A few minutes passed and she had not yet started. As I walked towards her, I saw that she had her eyes shut tight and she was mouthing something inaudible. As I bent down to get closer I heard her say, “I can do it and I will do it! I can do it and I will do it!” repeatedly!! And then she suddenly opened her eyes and took off in a flash and managed to swim the entire breadth of the pool, in one go!!

I was nothing short of amazed! What just happened?! This little child, my sweet, precious baby, all of five years, had controlled her mind to do what she wanted to do! How easy and natural it seemed! You see, she had been greatly influenced by the story of ‘Dumbo - The Flying Elephant’, her favourite story at that time. She wouldn't tire of listening to it again and again and I immensely enjoyed reading it to her. In it, the rat, Timothy, urges Dumbo to ‘believe in yourself’ when he had to jump off a great height in the circus he was performing in. And he overcomes his fear by soaring high up in the air, flapping his enormous ears after having jumped off the high pedestal he was on. She had used that incident to tackle her biggest fear at that time.

Her action has now become an inspiration for me, whenever I find myself stuck, unable to do something like when I’m not able to unscrew a bottle cap, unwind a rubber band, get up from the chair that I’ve been sitting on for a long time or lift my foot off the floor while trying to walk and so many such incidents I encounter daily. Every time, every single time, I just tell myself, ‘I can do it’ and I can! It actually works!! Now I tell myself that right at the start of any difficult activity. Which is pretty much any activity. That phrase has really worked for me and has become my personal mantra. We all have read stories about the struggles that great achievers have overcome in their life, but how many of us have actually seen it happen in front of their very own eyes?? I have!

Inspiration can come from the most unlikely of places.

On a parting note, as today, 13th August, International Lefthanders Day, draws to a close, there is a sudden realisation.  A big day for me as I am a lefty. How is this connected to MS?? Because of MS, I have movement issues in my right limbs. What if it were my left? There is a silver lining, right there!

Until next time.. goodbye!