Assisting the Ailing

'Help' is what I need, all the time. Without help there is nothing much that I can do. Be it at home, on a visit to a dentist, a long awaited meeting with friends or a shopping trip to the mall — all these have one thing in common — someone helps. 

A senior ex-colleague, who I hold in much regard, had suggested I write about how people have been helpful, when I sent him my blog for reading and feedback. Up until that time, I had not thought about this aspect and how vital it was to me. Obviously, my immediate family is my biggest help. And of course, my closest friends, some based in cities other than mine, are just a call away. Trips, be they short one‐dayers or month long ones, all have to be planned keeping my comfort and convenience in mind, sometimes troubling whoever else is with me in the bargain. But all that cannot be simply termed 'help' — it shows the love and concern that they have for me. I consider myself truly blessed and fortunate. 

Wherever I go, people are helpful and understanding. They offer me a seat or give up theirs, make way to let me across and usually assist me wherever possible. Even complete strangers have offered help in whatever way they could. That is human nature and all human beings are inherently helpful.

So how can one really help someone with MS?

The first thing one could do, is read up about it. 

Not much is known about MS in our country because it is more prevalent in regions with colder climates and rarer in tropical countries like ours. The United States has about 10 lakh (1 million) people with MS. Almost half of the global total of around 23 lakh (2.3 million). Yet, they observe March as MS Awareness Month. You can imagine how abysmal the awareness levels would be in our country.

Because almost all MS symptoms are unnoticeable, it is also known as the 'invisible disease.' They affect almost all parts of the body, from the head to the toes, but no two individuals react similarly to the same symptom. Hence it is sometimes referred to as the 'snowflake disease.'

Incidentally, World MS Day takes place on 30th May. It was first observed only as recently as 2009. It brings the global MS Community together to share experiences and raise awareness about MS.

So, reading about it and becoming aware makes it easier to understand what the disorder is all about. Creating awareness was also the reason I started this blog. Here I urge my readers to spread this to people in your circle who may be interested in reading and knowing about MS. 

If there are questions about the person, ask them. Their response will indicate how willing they are to talk about it.  Some people do not wish to discuss it while some have no qualms talking about it. And some, like me, write about it! That works for me as it gives me the liberty to express my thoughts and feelings and gives everyone else the choice to read it, if interested, or completely ignore it, if not. 

The one thing that would really help a person afflicted with MS or any other illness, is for someone to listen. Just listen.

It is common practice to compare our own so-called 'symptoms' with that of the Warrior. Or we often disregard or discount their feelings by saying, "oh, this is just temporary" or "everything is just fine" or, the worst thing: "it's all in your head". While all these statements are well intentioned, this is not what they want to hear. You can take my word for it. A nicer thing to say would be, "I'm here if you need a friend." 

What they would really like is a patient ear.  Someone who will listen to their fears, their feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, despair, loneliness — all of which are very real to them. When we listen, they get a sense of hope, a sense of not being alone in this struggle for normalcy.  

Again, my advice would be to acknowledge the Warrior's pain and suffering with a kind heart. There is no knowing what their journey is like. A patient, unbiased ear can make a world of difference.

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